When Animals Act Like Animals

I apologize for the non English video but I use what youtube gives.

I remember a few years ago when Gilbert Arenas wrote on his blog during shark week that it wasn't an attack if you went in the ocean. It was trespassing. If the shark knocks on your door, comes in your house while you're watching TV and bites you, then it's an attack. If you're in the ocean, you're trespassing.

I can't help but feel the same way about this video. Since this video isn't in English, and maybe you didn't see it, allow me to briefly explain in bullet format.

- Stupid women decides she wants to go "swimming."
- Stupid women climbs over the barracade to achieve this goal.
- Stupid woman jumps into Polar Bear lair.
- Stupid woman swims to rock and Polar Bear welcomes her with a high five.
- People scream and try to rescue her.
- All three Polar Bears come over to see what's up.
- One of them decides to see if she's worth eating.
- Eventually, she's rescued and thankfully, arrested.

The exception I take with the story is the same one that Gilbert took with shark week. This lady is hardly being "attacked." She went into the Polar Bear lair for a swim, and the Polar Bears decided they wanted to play. Sure that "high five" probably wasn't intended as a warm greeting and invitation for tea, but, I'm also pretty sure the Polar Bear wasn't sure what the hell was going on, and decided it needed to protect itself and it's homies.

While watching this story, my girlfriend agreed with me that it wasn't an attack, but asked what verb I would use instead. Initially, I said they should have simply described it as the woman gets polar "beared," since they were simply doing what they do. But, after some thought, maybe describing the whole scene in a manner of self defense is probably more accurate.

Either way, one thing's for sure. If you keep your dumb ass out of the Polar Bear feeding tank, your ass doesn't get confused for food.