Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Floyd Landis, A Man of Many Talents.

So there's this. Apparently, the Floyd Landis as a hacker case is real, at least to some dope of a french judge. I can't really wrap my head around this entire thing for a few reasons. Allow me to expound in no particular order.

1) In my opinion, which may be wrong, but I feel as though a court case shouldn't be a total waste of time. If the state is going to prosecute someone I feel like there should be a good reason to do so. I also realize as I type this, that this happens all the time, but in a case that will require a US citizen to travel to France to defend himself on allegations of hacking into a database of lab results, what's the real end game? What do they really hope to prove? Even if Floyd really did do it, doesn't it seem as though the real charges should be attempted identity theft or something along those lines? Basically a drug lab got hacked, what's the worst that happened, somebody found out a bunch of people's blood types? Or, maybe, from a complete conspiracy theory angle, the french are mad because some positive tests they're hiding could have been found. Ohhhh...

2) Am I really supposed to believe that Floyd Landis is a computer hacker? Remember the movie Hackers from the 90s? I must have watched that movie a dozen times as a young teen. It made hacking seem so cool and it was right about the time that internet became readily available where I lived. I even tried to do some computer hacking of my own. Though, I found that when I tried to hack into other computers I was not presented with visual of binary code forming columns and I also never seemed to float through the inside of a computer's motherboard looking to unleash my cookie monster virus at just the right section of 000000001. Yes, those are incredibly geeky references to this movie. I also remember that I wanted to spray paint my dad's computer tower in camouflage since that's clearly what all the real hackers do. That request was denied. Basically, what I'm saying, is that while Hackers the movie was probably a far far cry from what actual hacking involves (for full disclosure I did once successfully hack into some else's computer. However, it was mainly a .exe file that I tricked them into downloading and then it gave me access to their cd-rom, keyboard and the ability to screen shot their desktop. Randomly opening and closing someone's cd-rom drive and changing the order in which keys type was fun, but not really hard core.), I don't think Floyd would know how to do it any better than I do. Could he have hired someone? Sure, but why isn't that guy being called to France? And, at the time this alleged hacking took place, Floyd had plenty of dough to pay off a hacker. I mean, if that's what happened and that guy ratted you out, don't you think you admit to that?

Watch this movie. The sub-title is clearly foreshadowing for Floyd Landis in some way.



3) The comments on the VeloNews article once again restore my faith in the fact that most people who take the time to post comments to articles are insanely ridiculous. (The same could probably be said for people who write blog posts about comments being made on articles...) Most of these people clearly hate Floyd, which is fine, but I was pretty surprised when some say things like, "I'd like to see him defend himself in the french court..." to which I sort of wonder, why? I'm pretty sure the US is not going to extradite (I have no basis for this belief) Floyd on stupid hacker charges and it seems pretty clear that all of France is not Floyd's biggest fan so he probably doesn't much of a fair shot at this trial, so if I'm Floyd, I just go ahead and make France one of those countries I'm never allowed to go to again on va-kay. Why would Floyd want to pay to defend himself in this mess? It won't prove anything either way. I think this is one of those court orders you conveniently ignore. He could always take a super aggressive stance like the golden boy and say he's not participating in a witch hunt. That would at least get some blind American backing.

4) I feel like I already covered this, but who gives a damn?