Act Like One

I just joined the Twitter world. I've heard about it for the longest time and have never taken the time to figure out what it is. One of the bike race websites I go to had links to Lance Armstrong and Michael Roger's pages. While there I realized that basically all of my favorite cyclists had pages and some of their updates are interesting little pieces of insight into what they're doing now that the season is in full swing.

If you want to follow me, I have no idea why you would unless we share the same last name and you gave birth to me, my user name is very creative and hard to remember so make sure you write this down. It's, landall.

I will probably end up sending more updates from my phone after bike races and during rides that way I can pretend I'm a pro. I'm reminded of something I overheard my high school baseball coach say to someone on our team when they were wearing their uniform in a way that my coach didn't like. He said, "Son, at least if you're not a ballplayer you can look like one."

At least if I'm not a pro I can act like one?

Rest Weeks Blow

Yesterday I wrote about 2,000 words on the necessity of rest and recovery. Why it's important and why most people get it wrong. It included a few charts that I found so that I could express visually what the goal of a rest week is. Once I was at that arbitrary number of words I realized I was literally only about half way through and that nobody, save maybe 2 people on the planet, and they certainly don't read my blog, would be interested in such a detailed explanation. So, I deleted it and posted that little card instead. Probably a good call.

None the less, this week I am "recovering." And while I know how important it is to recover it does not make it any more fun or less annoying to go out and ride my bike for 2 hours keeping my HR at aerobic levels. My HR spiked to 164 yesterday when I was riding no hands putting my gloves back on and the road started to tilt up hill. Since I didn't have my hands on the bars to change to an easier gear I just grinded (spell check is informing me that is not an actual word. who knew?) up it until my hands were covered in $2, fashion forward, purchased from Walgreens, specific for cycling, gloves.

One thing recovery rides are good for is thinking and yesterday was no exception. I thought a lot about the race on Sunday and how I have lost all confidence in my own ability to ride solo in windy conditions. I used to be ok at it, so what happened? This made me think back to the times when sheer ignorance would put me on the front of a group ride in whatever conditions and because I wanted to earn the respect of my fellow lycra clad homeys, I'd drag their asses for miles at a time. I honestly can't think of the last time I intentionally put myself on the front of a group ride. If I wasn't on a group ride I was riding solo (obviously) and almost always doing the only bike workout I knew, ride as hard as you can until you get home. It was then that it dawned on me. As I've gotten wiser in my methods of training I have simply forgot the most basic workout.

I sit in front of my laptop for a few hours a week trying to come up with great new interval sessions that go for defined periods of time in very defined ranges of heart rate and the workouts have a very specific goal that in theory should translate to something race specific. These are important. They need to be done. But what about the good old fashioned solo hammer fest that starts out way too fast and ends way too slow because you bonked a half hour away from the end? I think that one is important too and I need to get back to it at least once per week. I can't do it this week, because you know, recovery, blah! But, I'm already looking forward to the extended pain that this type of ride always brings on. What would the notation for that workout look like on a training plan? Something like this:

1 x fast @ duration. (HR 0-200)

Have a great day peeps!

Watch out Hallmark!

I tend to be behind the times on these sort of things but today I received an e-card from a friend from www.someecards.com. I have since spent the last hour or so flipping through and laughing in a controlled manner so it's not obvious. I mean, I am at work!

Some of them are awesomely inappropriate. Well, most actually. This one reminded me of every time someone asks me for any sort of, "What should I do advice?" I have never thought that I was the person people should be going to for most all things advice related.

Race Report: Menlo Park Gran Prix, 3/8

If there is a worst case scenario for a race to play out, Menlo Park was it for me. It was windy which never bodes well for me to do anything solo. As much as I work on it, I just don't have that kind of power to ride a high tempo through gusty wind. I did everything I could to try and get a good result in this race. I moved up to the front after about 3 laps and consistently stayed there. Some friend after the race commented how impressed they were that I was always in the front 10-15 coming through the start finish. But, it was almost useless because on the back part of the course where the wind picked up everybody just sat up, every single lap. I don't blame people for not wanting to drag the group around the course. Especially into the wind, but don't put yourself on the front of the group if you're not willing to drive it. Every lap it'd sit up and the group would fan out gutter to gutter and I'd find myself boxed in as people were trying to move up on both sides. I couldn't get out so I was stuck working to make way my back up to the front group through the next half of the course. This played out on every single lap.

With 3 laps to go I found myself in a group of 6 that had simply rolled off the front of the rest of the field through the headwind. The group was comprised of 2 sets of teammates on different teams, some dude, and me. I don't think any of us really meant to get off the front, but when I looked back we had a decent gap and nobody did any real work to open it up. The rest of the group was just doing their annual sit up and take a breather routine on that part of the course. Unfortunately it was also a prem lap and for some reason the two sets of teammates were more interested in that then they were trying to win the race. Once they realized we had a gap all four of them sat up completely disinterested in doing any work. I said I'd gladly give them the prem if they'd just ride. They grunted and I realized that our group of 6 was just going to be sitting there waiting to be reabsorbed. Maybe I should have just went by myself and seen what happened but with 3 laps to go I just didn't think there was any real chance of staying away solo. So, frustrated, I sat up too. No one out of our group of 6 won the prem.

I put myself back in the front 10 with 2 laps to go and then again on the last lap but of course this did no good as the group would bunch back up in the wind and I'd get boxed in. The drag to the finish was long and so I was hoping I'd be able to follow wheels up without doing much work having other deposit me in the front 10 for the sprint. The speed jumped like it always does but usually that just means that somebody at the front got too excited and is going to blow up soon. A guy came by me on the left and so I jumped on his wheel. Unfortunately he was only strong enough to go about 2 places before he died and I watched my old place in the big line go by on the right. Another guy came by on the left so I followed him. Same thing, about 2-3 places and pop! Another guy, pop! Another, pop! At this point I was about 20-25 wheels off the front and realized if I was going to do anything I needed to just moved up myself so I went. As soon as I got to about 15th the guys the front started their actual sprints and I realized it was done. I pounded my bars in frustration and sat up to roll across the line.

I guess I could have went ahead and sprinted anyway to try and get as high of a placing as possible but I just don't see the point. There's no upgrade points after 6th place so who gives a shit whether you come in 7th of 30th. I have no idea where I ended up and they haven't posted results yet. On the cool down lap I was reminded of a Jens Voigt quote from a few Tours ago. The interviewer asked Jens why he was constantly going in breaks when the likely hood of one staying away was so small. Jens replied to the best of my memory, "I am not a guy that wins in the group. So if I stay in the group the whole day I don't have any chance. I'd at least like to give myself the chance to win. If I don't try, I'm losing before I start."

Next time, head wind be damned. If it's going to play out that way, I'll give it a go. Let's hope this weekend goes a little better!

Upgrade points: 0

"I led him out for, like, 50 miles."

Recently I've stumbled upon a bunch of interviews with pros where they are asked about their first race. Most of these guys were freaks the moment they swung their leg over a bike and so when posed with the question, "How'd you do in your first race?" More often than not, they reply, "I won." That answer is boring, even if it is impressive and true.

Yesterday I was reading an interview with Dave Zabriskie and he was asked this very question. His reponse, "I got second. I led him out for, like, 50 miles."

For those of you in the know, you immediately understand why this is funny. For the rest, allow me to explain.

A lead out is what happens at the end of a race when a team is trying to set up a win for their sprinter. Often referred to as a lead out train, a number of team mates will do their best to keep the pace as high as possible with their sprinter safely in the draft for as long as possible. Then, the last man, generally referred to as the actual lead out, although the leading out has been happening for a few K's (I feel so Euro when I write K's and not Miles), does a full out sprint to the 200 meters to go sign (this can vary). At this point the actual sprinter comes out and does his max effort sprint hopefully finding himself with at least a tire width margin ahead of the next guy. Lead outs for sprint finishes are hectic, crazy, dangerous, awesome and really impressive if done properly. Even the best teams screw it up all the time!

Back to Dave's explanation of his first race. You don't do a 50 mile lead out. The other guy was simply sitting on and Dave did nothing to make him pull through and take his fair share of turns at the front. By the time they got the finish, Dave would be wasted, the other guy would be, at least fresher than Dave, jump him in the finale and leave Dave with a second place and a extra hard day of training.

The lesson to be learned from the very wise Dave Zabriskie? Don't let people sit on your wheel.

Lance Armstrong will not win 1 bike race this year.

That's right, I said it. After a few weeks of mulling it over I've decided to make my public prediction that Lance will go completely win-less in the 2009 season. When he first made his comeback announcement the first thing I thought of was watching Michael Jordan play for the Wizards in 2001. While Lance isn't my favorite cyclist, he's certainly up there, and so I hated the idea of seeing him be anything but great.

I know you're wondering what facts have brought me to this prediction! What sort of logic did I use to step out on a limb so thin as to say Lance won't win a single race? Really, it's pretty simple.

First, was the time trial in Solvang during the Tour of California. Sure Lance was 4th on GC headed into the TT but in such a short stage race that really doesn't mean much. What it meant was that he turned in a good prologue, which for someone who used to be such a great time trialist wasn't a big surprise. Riding full gas for 4k wasn't his specialty but it wasn't a long enough distance to find out if he had recaptured his old TT form. After the prologue all he really had to do was finish in the main field with other top guys and they'd all receive the same time and he'd retain his high placing. If you're in the know, this isn't as difficult as it seems. The GC for a race like the Tour of California doesn't move around that much. But, back to Solvang. Why did Solvang make me start to wonder if Lance could win a race this year, because he finished 14th. 14th would normally be a pretty decent result for someone making a return to the sport after 3 years off. But, when you're goal is to win the Giro and they decided to throw in two super long time trials, I think you'd need to be a bit better than 14th in Solvang. And, it was a bit obvious that even the announcers were shocked at his performance. The excitement in their voices drained as it became apparent that Armstrong wasn't anywhere near Zabriskie's time as the clock ticked.

Second, Armstrong used to arguably be the best time trialist in the world, ESPECIALLY time trials in stage races. When he announced his come back I immediately said that there's no way he can beat Alberto Contador. A few of my cycling buddies posed the question, "But can Contador limit his losses in the time trials?" Which, at the time seemed like a totally logical question. But while all the media was in California following our race, Alberto was over in Portugal winning the Volta ao Algrave. And not only did he win it, but he won it through the time trial not by climbing away from his peers. Was the field at Algrave as stacked as it was in CA? No, I don't think so, but Contador put a minute into Sylvain Chavanel, who finished 2nd on GC, in the race against the clock. It looks to me that the question has been answered. Even if Contador can't beat Lance in the TT, he'll have no issue limiting his losses. And anybody that's seen Contador go up hill has to wonder if Lance can limit his losses there.

Third, and pretty much most importantly, there is the following interview at the conclusion of Stage 8 of the Tour of California. Lance spent most of the day with his Astana team chasing until they were comfortable with the riders up the road and then simply rode a hard tempo that discouraged any other riders from trying to bridge up. Lance apparently put his face in the wind and foot on the gas up the Cole Grade climb and all the riders talked about it being an impressive effort. However, when asked about it, Lance's answer strikes me as telling. Maybe the reality of riding these guys off his wheel and attacking in the high mountains has set in. If you've made this far, I'll let you be the judge.



For me, that response basically means he's willing to work as a super domestique for the rest of the year. I could be wrong, but I just don't see a win happening. Three years out of racing is a long time to all of sudden just get your race legs back under you. If Lance does win, awesome, I'd honestly love to see it, but I'm also not convinced that he needs to be on that top step of the podium in order to accomplish his come back goal, of raising global awareness of cancer. Anybody else who went to a single stage of the Tour of California saw the crowds around the Astana bus. Anybody in the real world who has no interest in cycling has in one way or another been made aware that he's back because every form of media has covered it. Sponsors are happy when a rider goes off the front on a 100k suicide break that has no chance of lasting because the tv cameras will show their logo over and over again that day. That rider has no chance of winning, but the awareness of that sponsor logo has increased. I'm not suggesting Lance is going to suddenly become one of the opportunist break away guys who flys off the front just to get his foundation in the paper. He doesn't need to do that. He's Lance Armstrong, let's not forget. Simply by showing up he's raising awareness of his cause!

Those are my reasons and that's my logic. Whether you think he'll bag a victory or not, whether you think his comeback is good for him, the sport or cancer or not, I'm sure there is one thing we can certainly agree on, he definitely needs to replace those glasses!

Champion Jerseys

Not that many (well, none really) of you care, but in cycling there is this great little tradition of wearing a special jersey that designates you as a specific champion for that year. You're only allowed to wear these special jersey's while competing in that discipline, so for example, since Dave Zabriskie is the current US Time Trial Champ every time he competes he wears his Captain America look-a-like skin suit. But he can only wear it in time trials. It can have a Captain America theme because basically the teams are given a lot of free reign over design as long as it incorporates the countries colors. I couldn't find a good picture of Dave's skin suit but this picture sort of gives you an idea:



The current US Road Champion is Tyler Hamilton. Tyler races for Rock Racing who's title sponsor is the high end fashion company, Rock and Republic. Rock's whole premise is to be flashy and give off a punk rock vibe. The first year they raced, 2007, they had the baddest kit I'd ever seen. It's actually the kit I copied as closely as I could when designing the eye pleasing "B Sample Racing" kit that everyone loves. In 2008 the rock kits were pretty ugly save for a few of the special kits they wore in specific races. Cycling, being about 90% fashion anyway, couldn't help but wonder what Rock Racing would come up with for a National Champion Road kit for Tyler to wear this year. The Tour of California, the biggest race on US soil seemed like the perfect place to show case it, but, it turned out to be more of the same from Rock Racing and they seem to not have their shit together. The US Champ kit that Tyler was wearing looked EXACTLY like the kit everyone else was wearing save for a few stars, a red and white striped background on the Rock and Republic shield and red, white and blue stripes on the sleeve bands. Look VERY closely and you can see the aforementioned details:



WTF mate? You are a fashion company for crying out loud! You can't do any better than that? I'm not even going to get into the fact that the kits get worse on a yearly basis. This one looks like it was inspired by a goth cashier at Hot Topic!

But, today I was on velonews.com reading an update on the current Vuelta Mexico and there it was, a picture of Tyler in an actual national champion kit that looks different from the rest of his teams. It's still insanely ugly but at least it's mainly red, white and blue. At least you can tell what it's supposed to be. And probably best of all, it looks like the goth cashier was having a good day when they went back into Hot Topic for further inspiration.



I guess the good thing is Tyler now has a legit national champ kit to race in, but way to drop the ball and unveil this new kit in Mexico. There are rumors that Michael Ball, the owner of Rock and Republic, can only fund the team through June or July, but we'll see. I think they're actually doing a good job of cutting back on expenses. This year the team cars were only Cadillacs (and not even Escalades) instead of Lambos like they've had in the past! Maybe they simply couldn't afford to rush the shipping on the kit they only had all off season to design and order.

And while I'm busting Rock's chops I'm actually a pretty big fan of the team. I think they're interesting and I think it's great they've given some guys a second chance after they did their time in cycling's rehabilitation program of extended vacation without pay. Here's to hoping that Rahsaan Bahati's US Crit Championship kit arrives on time. But with the budget cuts he might just have to borrow Tyler's.

Two Types of People

While visiting my folks for Christmas I paid my yearly visit to church to hear my Dad preach. It's no secret that we don't exactly see that whole religion thing through the same perspective but I do enjoy watching my Dad do what he does so well. He's a great public speaker and so I generally go into my annual service looking to find something to take away from his message that is not theologically based.

I remember he said something along the lines of, "There are two types of people in the world, those that separate people into two categories and those that don't." Right away the irony of this statement and message jumped out at me and I laughed to myself, but also, if it's assumed that it's a true statement, I am very firmly in the category of people that do the separating.

I essentially see life through filters, many, many filters. There are people that plan and people that don't. There are people that eat meat and people that don't. People that shower and people that don't. These are broad, but everything, to me, breaks down into two categories.

Bike racers are no different. There are basically two types of bike racers, numbers geeks and everybody else. In this month's issue of Road Magazine there is a great interview with Floyd Landis which puts him into the "everybody else" box.

The following is the best paraphrasing of the article I can do from memory. But, the point is going to be the same.

Road Magazine: What have you been doing for training?
Floyd: You know, I go out and ride around a bit.

RM: You must have some sort of structure.
F: I get on my bike and I ride for as hard as I can for as long as I can. I know what hills I need to ride up. I know about how long it should take. I haven't had anything with numbers on my handlebars for two years.

RM: [Some sort of probing question]
F: I have a hard time convincing myself that I should ride fast up this hill for 4 minutes when it takes 5 minutes to get to the top. What do I do at the end? Turn around, go home, get in they car? I've never tried to do intervals in a race, but I'm not sure it'd work out. Am I supposed to tell the group that we're going to ride slow for the next 15 minutes so I can recover and then ride fast again? If I'm tired I go home. If I'm tired and motivated I ride some more. If I'm tired in the middle of the ride I go to In-N-Out Burger. If I'm tired and I'm home, I sleep.

This series of answers regarding training doesn't surprise me since I've read a lot about Floyd over the past few years. But, it's important for the rest of us mere mortals to keep in mind that Floyd is a naturally gifted freak. He is the proud owner of one of the highest V02max numbers of anybody ever tested. You know how all you people think Lance has the highest because he was the first person to care about such things and everybody made a big deal about it. Yeah, Floyd's is higher. So it might be possible for Floyd to go out with no real structure to his plan, ride as hard as he can for as long as he can and then race in the pro peloton, but for most of us, this just isn't really the way that we're going to get faster.

It's also important to note that Floyd hasn't always felt this way about training. He's always been laid back about the whole process, but back in 2006 when he won that little race called the Tour de France, he was the biggest athlete on the endorsement list for Cyclops, the company that makes the power tab rear hub. Floyd worked with Dr. Allen Lim, the leading coach in power training, and they posted all his numbers on his website for all of the world to see. Stage 17, where Floyd went solo over 3 mountain passes to win and put himself back in contention for the leader's jersey, the stage that eventually tested him "positive" for "abnormally high testosterone levels," wasn't left off of the website where you could go look at Floyd's power output for the day. In fact, if you know what you're looking for, it was actually a pretty shitty effort. Everybody else in the group was just feeling even more shitty than he was and so nobody followed. It wasn't a super human effort like that of Riccardo Ricco at the 2008 Tour, but, nobody seems to take that into consideration, and now this has turned into me defending Floyd, which isn't my goal.

The point is most of us need those numbers on our handlebars. We need feed back from cadence, heart rate and time at the absolutely minimum. Power numbers would be ideal but some of us are poor and every time we look at a power meter online it makes us cry a little bit and hate all the rich kids rolling around with the SRM that daddy bought them. Those numbers tell you very important things as you're riding. Sometimes you feel tired because you're over trained but sometimes it's because you're being a wuss and need to get yourself mentally into the effort at hand. The feedback from your heart rate will let you know the difference. Floyd is also working in recovery days, but like most pros they don't like to talk about those. They only talk about the fast days which makes most amateur think the way to ride your bike faster is to always get on your bike and ride it faster. Unfortunately, this method of training is going to result in a plateau that you'll hit relatively quickly.

One last point of note, I realize that my boy Floyd has been out of racing for two years but while he was training with power, a coach and a plan he won the 2006 Tour of California, 2006 Paris-Nice and the 2006 Tour de France. So far in 2009 when he, "Rides around a bit," he's finished 23rd, just over 10 minutes down on Levi. I realize he had a bit of bad luck on Stage 1 where it took him about 5 minutes to get a new wheel after he flatted because neutral support got pulled off the course and I also realize it'll take some good racing before he gets his race legs back under him. But, maybe there's something to be said about riding 4 minutes fast.

And, totally unrelated to training, is he endorsed by In-N-Out? He works it into every single interview I've ever read. He orders his fries "Animal Style." I didn't even know that was possible. Gonna have to try that sometime!

Sunday's Plan Revised

Stupid rain! I woke this morning to the weather man showing his accuracy in fortune telling. Call me soft. Call me fair weather. Call me whatever you want, but doing 5 hours in 50 degree rain just seems miserable.

So instead, I'll do this for 2-3 hours:



Um, minus the weird boxers this guy has on and I won't be falling off. I thought this was far more entertaining than watching someone competent on the rollers.

A few points of note after watching the whole thing:
1) why does he have aero booties on over his shoes indoors?
2) The front drum is too close for his wheel base. If he got to the point where he was going to try and stand up, he'd shoot off the front. That'd be funnier.
3) I think he needs a bit more drop between his saddle height and stem. There's no aerodynamic advantage to aero bars if you're sitting straight up.

Sunday's Plan

After promptly getting my ass handed to me today I decided that a nice solo trip out to, up and back from Mt. Diablo seemed like a good idea.


View Larger Map

After looking at this route it seems as though I'm not going to the most direct way. I'll have to look into that.

Spring Classics Season!

No, I'm not talking about baseball, although, spring training for that is in full swing. My beloved Oakland A's have resigned our original greasy mullet MVP Jason Giambi so here's to hoping Billy Bean's genius is back!

But, what I am talking about are the spring classic bike races. As an American most people think there is one race per year, the Tour de France, but, in reality, the cycling season is sort of broken up into two parts, The Classics and the Grand Tours.

While Grand Tours cover 3 weeks of races where your overall time determines the winner, the classics are one day races of extreme length, conditions and mostly pain. These races are not for the faint of heart and champions that win a spring classic are thrust into a whole new league of names. It's almost impossible to describe just how hard these races are. And so, instead of trying I stole a few pictures from pezcyclingnews.com's preview of this weekends, Het-Volk, no, that's what it used to be called. Now it's something else that I can neither remember, spell or pronounce. I'm sure I'm not even saying Het-Volk correctly. But here's an idea of what these guys go through:



Cobbles! What would a spring classic without cobbles? Cobbles are tough enough but if it rains, forget it, these things basically turn into an ice rink. The mud they are set in expands with the water and ends up on top. It's nasty. Best case scenario for the racers, it stays dry and they just have to deal with bouncing over them as they ride. I don't think levels had been invented when these roads were laid down. Oh, and sometimes, the cobbles go up hills. Not always big mountains, but hills so steep that some of the greatest cyclist in history have to get off an run. That's some steep shit!



This could happen too! These races are in Northern France and Belgium and other parts of the world where it is still very winter. If it snow, they race. It doesn't get canceled for anything. And no, they won't quickly switch over to their 'cross bikes. Maybe they'll run some 700x25s instead.



He looks like he's enjoying himself! That's Juan Antonio Fleche, one of the best classics riders there are. If he looks like that during the race, imagine what the guys behind him must feel like!

Arguably the biggest classic of them all, Paris-Roubaix, nicknamed, "Hell of the North," is coming up a little later in the season. Take a look at the video below to get an idea of what it can be like if the weather turns nasty!

Party on Palomar

This slide show of photos shows what a circus Palomar Mountain was for the last day of the Tour of California. As I rode up that climb I remember seeing about 3/4s of the people in these pictures. Cycling fans are an interesting bunch. But you've got to admire the dedication of some of these groups who camped on the side of that mountain for 3 days to watch the guys go by in about 20 seconds.

Slide show of pictures from VeloNews.com

Chasing the Tour of California

I don't know where to start with writing some sort of recap of my weekend. I chased the Tour of California through the last three stages to the finish.

The time trial in Solvang was pretty cool as during TTs you get a chance to see every rider. Seeing Levi flash a 3 as a crossed the line made me think that maybe he as a personality after all and I decided I liked him a little bit. But, still not a fan. I was really hoping Tom Zirbels time would stand. What an awesome ride he threw down! And, the Captain America skin suit that DZ has is pretty rad! To top it off, but nothing but sheer lucky timing I was walking by the Columbia bus as George Hincapie and Mark Cavendish were coming back from the awards tent. I got both of their signatures on my cowbell and froze up like a little girl. I couldn't think of anything to say except, "Good luck in the classics." This would have been fine had Cavendish not been the one signing the cowbell. Luckily he just looked at my funny and gave me the bell back.

The following day I rode about 2.5 hours out on the course. Waited for the group at the first little bump in the road and then booked it back to my car to drive to Pasadena for the circuits. The timing worked out great and I got to see the lead break with Frank Schleck, George Hincapie, Christian Van de Velde and a bunch of others flying around the circuits. If you look at my pictures I don’t know if you can tell how steep the section of the circuit I was on, but it’s steep, and they were not soft pedaling! Best part, I got Steve Cozza, Rahsaan Bahati and Floyd Landis to sign the cowbell. Rahsaan wasn’t in the race, I just recognized him and he seemed pretty shocked that someone wanted his autograph at this race. But, he won the first pro race I ever watched so he’s always been one of my favorite sprinters after that!

The next day the race was going over Palomar Mtn which is an HC (HC = above category = hard) climb. I wanted to climb it so the plan was to park about 10 miles from the summit and ride up and wait. I realized as I was driving that I was going to get there way too early and end up on top of this 5,000 ft mountain waiting on the race for about an hour. This did not seem appealing because there is snow up there, which means it’s cold. I altered my plans a little bit and drove to the finish instead and started riding from there and it also meant I went over a cat 3 mountain on the way to Palomar, which was sort of cool too.

If you’ve ever seen a mountain stage of a big race on Television then you’ve seen how insanely close all the fans get to the riders as they come through. Totally by accident I got to experience this first hand. About 5k from the top of Palomar I blew and was left to do nothing but slog my way up the rest of it. As I was about 1k out the first set of police motorcycles passed me indicating the riders were on their way. As the motorcycles went through a big group one guy looked back, spotted me and screams, “FIRST GUY” as loudly as he could. Everybody on both sides of the road immediately collapsed into the road, screaming, shouting, ringing cow bells as if I was really the first guy. One kid even ran the rest of the way beside me screaming so loudly in my ear that it actually made me forget that my legs had exploded about 4k down the mountain. It was insane and an experience that I’m not likely to ever get again. I wish there had been some way to get it on video or have someone take a picture of me going through this crowd. I don’t know how fast I rode that last 500m or so but it had to have been about 3xs faster than I was going heading into the group. I can’t imagine what it must be like for the riders to have that kind of energy around them for the last 5 or 10k of a big climb. By the time the race came by and I was able to descend down the mountain I was able to make it back to the finish in time to see Frank Shleck win a 1 up sprint. But, I got an awesome 4 hours of riding in with an HC climb in the middle for good measure with my own personal crazed cheering section for the last bit of the climb.

After I got back to my car I changed on the street while people were staring at me like I was a crazy person. I guess the other people who come to the races aren’t used to changing in parking lots after races themselves. I headed down to the expo to see if I could find a Tour of California t-shirt on sale but they were all boring. Instead I talked the guy at the Rock Racing booth to sell me one of their trucker hats for $10. Then, I drove back to Oakland.

If you look at the numbers it is probably the most insane thing that anyone can ever do. I drove over 1,100 miles to go watch guys race bikes. And, it’s not like they were on a track in front of me where I got to see them multiple times. I’d drive for an hour to watch them go by in less than 10 seconds. On the finishing circuit in Pasadena I got to see them 4 times before I went down the finish line and watched it on a Jumbo-Tron because I couldn’t get close enough to the finish line. All in all this was probably one of the best weekends I’ve ever had.

For pictures go here: http://community.webshots.com/user/Ridearoundamerica
Although, I’m adding captions. That seems like too much work. I might do that to the albums I put on facebook.

SF thieves are thoughtful!

When I opened my drivers side door this morning I noticed a lot of glass in my passenger seat. At first it didn't dawn on me what had happened because let's face it, my car isn't that nice. But, after about another second it was confirmed that some fools roaming the streets of California wanted to give me the opportunity to replace my passenger side window and take advantage of some of the deals on new cd players that I've seen on web ads. Not only that, but they were nice enough to unhook the cd player instead of just yanking it out and destroying the wires. Class acts really! My Garmin GPS was in the center console and luckily they didn't bother to look in there. But, to show just how focused they were they didn't bother to take the two boxes of jelly belly's that I had in the glove box in preparation for the long drive this weekend. I can't say enough about how much I appreciate these guys consideration!

It didn't dawn on me to take a picture with my cell phone until after I scooped 90% of the glass into the gutter. By then it seemed too late to capture the full artful-ness of the moment.

Oh well. In all reality I'm not really that upset by this. I mean it certainly sucks, but I guess when you live in the city and always park on the street it's bound to happen. I'm sort of surprised it took this long!

Bike Geek Mode, Ready, Go!

For those of you that don't like it when I write about cycling, stop reading now. And, I should probably warn you. For the next couple days, that's more than likely all I'll be talking about.

I am killing a few minutes before I head to Sacramento for the prologue of this years Tour of California. To say I'm excited about seeing the pros I've only previously been able to watch on TV wouldn't quite cover it. I feel about the same way I did as a 4th grader when there was an awesome field trip lined up. No need to shake me twice to get me out of bed. I have been pacing around my apartment for the last hour trying to think of things to do so I don't show up at the course 4 hours early. YEAH, 4! I'm going to settle with 2 because in my brain that seems sensible.

I've been to pro bike races before. I was at the CSC Invitational when Rashaan Bahati got his first big win as a pro for Rock Racing. I've worked the feed zone of a pro race passing up bottles to my buddy's who race for Richmond Pro Cycling. But I can't think of another single sporting event that I am more excited to get to take in. Every cyclist I have looked up to for the past 4 years is in a hotel room less than 2 hours from my apartment. The list of guys I want to get a picture of, with or have them sign my big Texas cow bell are:

1) Floyd Landis
2) Lance Armstrong
3) George Hincapie
4) Chris Horner
5) Dave Zabriskie
6) Christian Van de Velde
7) Tyler Hamilton
8) Freddy Rodriguez
(those are just the Americans!)

Also in attendance, Mark Cavendish, Tom Boonen, Fabian Cancellara, Carlos Sastre, The Schleck brothers, Thor Hushovd!

I know I'm forgetting people. The field is so deep its hard to keep track of who all is here. Ok, I gotta go. I'm getting more antsy by the minute.

Oh yeah, and I guess it's Valentines Day. Which means you should spend it with the one you love most. For me, that's bikes, perfect!

Lance being Lance

I found this video on velonews and thought it was a great indicator that Lance is still himself. In a lot of other videos and interviews from previous races he seemed like a much nicer guy, way more laid back and the fan in me was concerned that maybe he lost that desire to crush people that try to beat him, one up him, or say bad things about him.

I was unaware of the article that he references in this clip, but I think it's safe to say that he's still got a bit of fire left in him. And, I also think it's awesome when athletes or any one for that matter take control of the situation when journalists try to be shady.

Why Am I Excited that Armstrong Came Back?

Because I'm hoping there's a bit of this!



Team infighting and an Armstrong vs. Contador throw down just like Hinault and Lemond had back in 1986. However, lets just hope that whoever loses the Armstrong vs. Contador battle doesn't cry about it for years like Lemond does.

This keeps me from typing...

H.W. Bush is funny?

Clinton's response is terrible. Just ignore that.

Rubbing is Racing, Pt. 2

No one ever asks me how close people get in bike races. If they did, the answer would be very hard to quantify because it really depends on lots of different factors. However, it's not really that uncommon for the group to get bunched up and people start touching. This really isn't that much more dangerous than when it's lined up as long as people are comfortable and don't freak out. Some pros can't stand to be in the middle of groups like this while others are so comfortable they'll tell stories using hand gestures. I'm probably somewhere in between. I don't mind being there, but I gotta concentrate to take a drink. Note the two guys in the Skill kit (nothing like being sponsored by a power tool company!) and the red. They are probably touching a little, but not so much that they're actually holding each other up. But, that can happen too.

In general I really just thought this was a cool picture and needed some excuse to post it. Well, besides my daily prayer to Eddy Merckx (the guy standing in the car for those of you not in the know.).

The Grass is Always Greener

Most people would kill to be Michael Phelps. Young, insanely talented, insanely rich, immensely famous and walking example of how if you win a bunch of gold medals, actually being attractive has very little to do with how many girls want to do it to you.

However, it seems pretty obvious that Michael Phelps just wants to be a normal 20 something. After the Athens games his star seemed like it couldn't get higher and he gets pulled over for a DUI. Not really the biggest deal, except for the fact that he was now this role model for young little swimmers everywhere. He apologized publicly and after a few weeks of press attention the world spun again on it's normal axis. Now, after the Beijing games pictures have apparently surfaced of young Mr. Phelps smoking marijuana at a party. And one can only assume the saga will continue.

I can't really blame the kid for wanting some semblance of a normal life. To do the same dumb shit that every other 20 something does. But, I think in his case he needs to realize he isn't a normal 20 something. He's got millions upon millions of dollars tied up in endorsement deals that rely heavily on his ability to be a spic and span image for the company that is paying him to appear in their advertisements. He is after all just a swimmer. And, like all other athletes of sports that the masses don't care about, endorsements are really the only way to make a living out of calling a pool your office.

I'm sure this will all blow over and Mr. Phelps will show up in London to win a few more golds. These repeat episodes do lend a bit of reality to what it's probably like to be him. Living in an alternate reality that most of us think would be extremely glamorous, but he clearly just wants to exist amongst the little people. Everybody wants what they can't have. But if I were Michael Phelps I'd take a long look in the custom installed mirror in your giant penthouse bathroom and remember that you live there because all those companies want you associated with their product because so many people look up to you. There are plenty of celebrities walking out of rehab who they could pay a lot less to do what you do for them. Maybe next time smoke weed in your penthouse and pay Jeeves to drive you home from the party. Just an idea.

Early Bird #5: Rubbing is Racing?

Rubbing is racing is a great quote from an even better movie, Days of Thunder. If you haven't seen it, stop reading this, go watch it, and then post a comment about how I just changed your life after.

The obvious difference between Tom Cruise and his Mountain Dew Chevy and how this quote applies to my races is that I'm not inside of a Mountain Dew Chevy. Sure rubbing is a part of racing and there are certain times in a bike race where two competent riders actually keep themselves from falling by leaning on each other. Notice the word competent used in the previous sentence.

The race was going as most 5 races due. Everybody confusing cornering on your bike to the same as in a go-kart where you try and hug the inside as closely as possible so nobody can pass you. This makes for some very interesting lines going both in and out of the corners. At one point a guy to my left was touched by someone else. He freaked out, screamed and then dove his right shifter directly into my hip. I casually gave him a polite, get the f-bomb off of me nudge back into the group. He didn't go down, but I have no idea how. This was the first of 3 times I was assaulted. And not because someone was trying to fit into a spot they couldn't, but because they wigged out and I happened to the be the closest guy for them to try and kill.

The Men's 5 race was delayed due to some crash in the Women's 4. They didn't tell us that due to this delay our race would be cut short so they could stay on schedule. We didn't learn this nifty bit of info until we came through the start finish about 20 minutes after starting and they were ringing a bell so I looked over and saw a lap card with a 1 on it. I sort of freaked out and over reacted because I was nowhere near the front. I knew I needed to be at the front because I was going to try and sprint. Instead of doing the smart thing and waiting for some wheels to follow that would deposit me at the front, I just decided to move up myself. This turned out to be genius because there was a huge pile up in turn 1, which my over reaction put me in front of. Coming out of turn three there were two more crashes. One of them was directly beside me. I still can't figure out why this guy fell down. I heard a crash a few spots behind us and then all of the sudden homeboy to my right just flails out and is sliding across the pavement. My best guess is that it was basically the equivalent of a sympathy puker; someone else crashed so he thought he had to as well.

While I wasn't behind this crash it did disrupt my ability to follow some wheels close to the front for the sprint. The front 5 guys put their heads down and drove hard. The next 3-4 guys behind them couldn't match the effort and I had to get myself around them to try and rejoin the front. I never really got myself into a good position to sprint but I did take back some spots and ended up 7th out of what started as 35-40. Who knows how many official finishers there were with all the crashing on the last lap.

Top 10 is ok I guess but what's really important is that my ass did not end up on the pavement. I made it through all the Early Birds with out a single crash. I was pretty sure that it was bound to happen at least once. Luckily I avoided them. The upgrade request is in and so next I'll be racing as a 4. I'm not sure it's really going to be that much safer, but in theory the people should have some experience.

And the only person that will be sad about this is my mom, but all the Feb. races filled up so I won't race again until a stage race the 2nd weekend in March. I'm pretty stoked about it so we'll see what happens. I'm going to use Feb to get in some good smart training and go super long on the weekends.

Here's to keeping the rubber side down!

My Friends

My core group of friends back east are not nice to each other. Nobody from the outside looking in understands this. I've tried to introduce other people to this group and they think we're either all really mean or that we really hate each other. But, nothing could be further from the truth. We all just like each other so much that saying nice things to each other just doesn't seem appropriate. Rene recently described it as our own language. Which, in reality, is probably pretty accurate.

This picture basically describes 90% of our verbal interactions:



The caption, "That's Jamar and you know the TV never lies." It was posted on facebook, now it's posted on my blog. See, it's how we show we care. Now maybe Jamar will try and lose some weight. It's pretty embarrassing in public sometimes!

More Quotes

After reading the following quote I realized I might have to change my opinion on their inspirational powers. This is too much knowledge not share. You can all thank me later for changing the way you now look at life.

Let's take 'em to church: (Which is actually another quote but from a Jay-Z song, ignore that fact!)

“There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.” – Coach Finstock, Teen Wolf

Bathroom Disaster!

I've never been one of those people that loves to talk about what goes down in a bathroom. You've all met the people that do. They kick open bathroom doors with a great sense of triumph for whatever damage they just did and then speak far too loudly to the person closest to them to ensure everyone can clearly hear the tale. These are not stories that should be shared. I mean, I didn't even believe that girls pooped until I was 22 and lived with 4 of them so you can see where I think of the bathroom as a private venue.

My current office only has one bathroom on the main floor. The other bathroom requires you go down a flight of stairs, through an extra door and use a key to get in. This other bathroom has a major default in the fact that the door is always locked, but not from the inside. So anyone with a key can always roll right in. This factor drives me insane. Both bathrooms are unisex, which in theory is ok, but in practice not so great. For clarification read the last paragraph from above for a refresher.

Recently the size of our office staff has basically tripled with seasonal members. It does not take a phD in Economics to see the supply and demand curve of the bathroom availability skewing in an unfavorable direction. Still, the occasional to often waiting for someone to exit isn't that bad. What is bad is the unavoidable knowledge of what just happened in that bathroom before you entered it's domain.

People stroll out of there with the biggest smiles on their faces like it's totally normally, and maybe it is. I completely realize that I'm probably the weird one here, but nobody seems to be the slightest bit embarrassed that the next five people who walk into that bathroom aren't going to be able to breath normally for the next day or two. A few days ago I literally held my breath the entire time I was peeing because it was so bad. No I didn't wash my hands because that would have taken extra time and I was already starting to turn blue. It was that bad. I am not being dramatic.

I'm left with this problem and have no idea what to do about it. I could always go downstairs to the other bathroom, but really, it's no better. I could grow up and deal, but there are clearly some deep seeded issues that my brain can't handle. Or, I can keep doing what I currently do now. Every time I open the bathroom door I take in the biggest breath possible and hope I can hold it for the duration. It is not unlikely that someone will find me passed out on that bathroom floor. I'm considering buying a fake gas mask and hanging it next to the door to try and make the point. Let's just hope the odor doesn't stick to clothes.

It Does Not Suck to Be:

With readership of teamLandall on the rise (I learned of a new reader this weekend, what's up Karla? You get shout outs here at teamLandall because we're a blog of the people! Or, something like that?) I'm thinking of starting some standard segments that have been floating through my brain. I've had this idea for a long time and just haven't actually acted on it. The staff here have been absolutely swamped with things like facebook scrabble and the occasional bike ride.

So, let's start this off and see if it lasts more than 1 entry.

It does not suck to be Lance Armstrong. As the entire world knows Lance decided to come back to bike racing to spread the cause of his cancer fighting foundation. Good for Lance! I mean that. But really, you'd think by this picture that good old Lance won the Tour Down Under where he made his comeback debut. But nope, Lance finished 29th but got more publicity than anyone else at the race. Let's also not forget about his A-list celebrity pals and make out sessions with an Olsen twin in some seedy LA Club that for a while seemed like just another day in the life. Outside of that whole cancer thing which in reality probably propelled him to where he is today, it certainly does not suck to be Lance Armstrong!

Early Bird #4: blah, blah, blah.

It started to rain about 10 minutes leading up to the 5s race and that made me wonder if it was worth it to even take the chance. These races can be sort of sketchy anyway so add in rain and the increase in wind and I figured it was a disaster waiting to happen. I went to the start anyway, go figure.

I was shivering at the start line and of course there was a 15 minute lecture on the hydro-dynamic features of bots dots. I know these guys have the best intentions but I'm pretty sure it just makes the field act even more stupid. And is it just me or does everybody like to ride right down the middle of the road and over them? Seriously, we have two lanes, just because on your morning commute you aren't allowed to ride down the middle of the road doesn't mean you need to make up for lost time on Sundays.

So, like I said, it was rainy, windy and cold. I think I mentioned cold, if not, it was cold. The first 20 minutes were insanely pedestrian and there was some fat guy who confused himself for General Custer whenever someone would go up the road he'd demand that nobody chase. And, everybody listened, including me, but I at least shook my head in disapproval every time. With five laps to go I decided that I was going to give the old flyer move a try with 3 to go. The field had slowed to a crawl every single lap coming down the home stretch because of the headwind. I usually go backwards in headwinds but figured I could ride faster than 18 by myself so I'd give it a go. Coming into the start/finish with 3 to go the group did not slow down. And, like the big fat idiot that I am, ignored this factor and stuck with my original plan devised on an entirely different set of circumstances.

I jumped from about 10 back. Got a gap, sat down to try and ignore the lactic acid starting to pile up. This was about the time that I noticed my heart rate monitor telling me I was going to die soon. 199. I stayed away for about another minute and realized that even if the group wasn't chasing I burned every match I had in my book pushing through the wind to that point. I sat up, got caught and then made a half assed effort of 13mph chasing to get back on for about 10 seconds.

I soft pedaled to the start/finish where a lap later I was greeted by the grunting of fat boy General Custer winning with the least impressive sprint I've ever seen in my life. Oh well, I guess the early birds are designed to teach you lessons. The one I learned today, don't stick to plans when the scenario changes. Oh yeah, and the other one, which I really already knew, don't trick yourself into thinking you're a power guy just because the field is going slow.

Guess Who's Back!

About mid fall I heard that Floyd Landis was coming back and going to be riding domestically for what used to be Health-Net. To say I was stoked is a bit of an understatement. I remember the first story I read about Floyd in one of Lance's books where he described this young kid with lots of talent who on a day off sat at a coffee shop in Gerona, Spain and drank 13 espressos just to see if he could. If you know me, you know why I was instantly a fan of Floyd.

Most people by now know of Floyd Landis as the winner of the 2006 Tour de France who then had his title stripped because of an abnormally high testosterone ratio. Floyd is probably the one case in cycling where I really don't feel like he doped. I'm no scientist but what I do know about how testosterone works as a doping agent doesn't fit the description that he's accused of using it. (Nobody reading this wants these details.) It's also been proven that the machines the French lab used to test the samples on were not calibrated correctly and standard lab procedures were essentially ignored. Both of these factors, if you ask people that work in labs, can grossly effect the results of any test. There are those people who think the French were using Floyd as a way to try and get to Lance. I don't know, I don't usually give conspiracy theorist much attention, but, there was definitely a group of people who decided they needed to make an example out of someone. Unfortunately for Floyd, they pulled his number.

But, screw all that. It's over. To any real fan we all know that Floyd won the 2006 Tour and that's what matters. With a lot of big comebacks, namely one Mr. Armstrong, Floyd's is going to be overshadowed a bit. But, for Floyd that's ok. He clams up in the spot light. But, since he's racing domestically all year it's going to be huge for a sport that is struggling to find sponsorship in our current economic wonderland. Races like the Tour of Utah that are really close to being a race with recognition will now have a big time name with a big time domestic fan base lining up on day one. And that is huge! So whatever people say about Lance bringing great press to cycling is probably true, but that press is mainly going to be overseas. Floyd's going to be doing it at home and I'm super stoked that I'm going to get the chance to see him race a few times this year.

Here's to hoping Floyd gives them hell. And, what's not to like about a guy who eats In-N-Out for lunch instead of weighing his boiled chicken?

Our New Fearless Leader

With the swearing in of our new President this week everybody was going crazy with gushy emotions about how great the world is about to be. Being my naturally cynical self I'm a bit less than ready to crown Mr. Obama the greatest President of all time until he actually gets some of the stuff that he promised done.

It's easy to talk about what you're going to do. In any context, not just when trying to convince people to elect you leader of the free world. What's more difficult and should count for a lot more is when you deliver on those things you spoke about.

I totally understand that the simple idea of change gives people hope and Obama certainly embodies that. So, as I listened to his speech on Tuesday I did so without much emotion because again, they were just words. As this week as progressed I've caught glimpses of the new President in the oval office on the front page of major newspapers and I realized it hasn't really set in for me. Sure I realize that good old boy W is out and there's a new guy with access to the fancy pen set, but my life didn't change. And that's sort of why I find it so difficult to get fired up about many political causes or the process as a whole. Sure these people we elect are important. Sure they make big decisions that have the possibility of effecting the world. But on a personal level there isn't much they do that changes my day to day life. Some people find this ridiculous but it's just the way I feel.

So, did I vote? I did. And did I vote for Obama? I did. But why? If I don't notice the difference of one administration to another what made Mr. Obama seem like a better candidate than Mr. McCain? Simple. Mack Brown thought so. The day the stories came out that Obama visited the Longhorns my mind was made up, I was voting for Obama.

Early Bird #3: I guess that's bike racing.

I went into this race with a plan, which was really the first time. My plan was to do my best Levi impression and sit on wheels the entire day. On the last lap I'd make my move up to the top 10 and then I'd either move off the front in the last turn if it was slow or wait for the sprint if it was fast.

I did everything exactly according to plan, but unlike the last two weeks where I had good results, this one was the definition of mediocre. It was fast and so going into turn four I decided to follow a small train of guys going up the outside to set up for a bunch sprint. As we made our way up some homeboy on the inside decided it was his time to shine and he jumped WAY, WAY, WAY too early. Usually, this move could be ignored because he'll fade and you can laugh about it later. Unfortunately his way too early jump meant he needed to get to the outside and his path went through the front end of my bike. Fortunately I was able to get out of his way but the sudden move made me forget we were still a long way from the line and I started to sprint. 200 meters later my legs stopped cooperating. I sat down and coasted in giving up about 15 places to other guys who weren't sprinting at all. But, sometimes that's how it goes. You do everything right and the luck just isn't on your side. At least I kept all my skin.

The picture above is pretty much how I felt going across the line. And it proves my non violent nature because I should have been pointing my finger gun and to the fool who tried to kill me. But, as we all know, I'm way too nice for that!

High Tech Nutrition!

Almost never does anyone ever ask me what I eat when I go out for a 5+ hour bike ride. Mostly I think it's because nobody cares, which is probably the right feeling to have about the topic. But, because I rode my bike for 6.5 hours today and experienced a few different food related issues I decided I'd share exactly what I consumed throughout the day.

There are endless discussions on what and how much of something someone should eat during a ride. Generally the calculations are based on calories/hour but I can't be bothered with that kind of math. I also can't be bothered with eating things that are sold in the "energy bar" isle of your local grocery store. I've ingested so many cliff bars and gus that I swore I'd never have another a few months ago. And, I haven't. But, if I'm not eating a cliff bar or taking in gu ever hour what is one to do? Don't I realize that those products are specifically designed to keep me going.

In the picture below you will see three cookies in a sandwich bag. I ate a cookie every hour. They are not special cookies. They are turtle supreme or something. They taste delicious! You will also notice an apple turnover thing. I saw these at Safeway on 10 for $7 sale. I bought 5 because I couldn't remember if I liked them or not. After eating one on top of Mt. Diablo today for lunch I remember that I do like them. I also ate a banana which depleted my "getting there food." On the way back I stopped at a gas station and bought two Ms. Fields cookies, a snikers bar (which I ate immediately and threw the wrapper away so it's not pictured) and two packets of salted peanuts in case I started cramping. But I didn't, so I didn't eat them.



So, that's it. I have no idea how many total calories I took in. I have no idea what my carb to protein ratio was. I do know that I could pretty much care less about any of that crap. This line of thinking leads to the occasional bonk but not usually. And, this stuff is way cheaper than all that "scientifically formulated crap," not to mention all the people forcing down a cliff bar gaze at your cookies quite longingly.

The Wrestler: An unqualifed review

I'm going to do the 3-10 people who read this blog a favor and tell you not to go see The Wrestler. I had never heard of this movie until the guys on a radio talk show that I listen to were praising it like they were being paid to do so. And after watching it, I think maybe they were. After they hyped it up so much I found a trailer online and was blown away. The trailer made me cry so I thought for sure this movie was going to be amazing. I mean really, who cries during the trailer?

One thing I hate when people review movies is when they critique acting. Mostly I hate this because the people doing the critiquing don't act and so how the hell do they know what it takes to be a good actor or not. Another thing I hate is when people insist that a movie is amazing and that if you didn't like it it's because you missed the point. This clearly insinuates you aren't smart enough to see the bigger point the movie was trying to convey.

Let me state very clearly that I didn't hate The Wrestler for any of these reasons. I thought the acting was pretty good. I mean I believed the main character was a beaten down old wrestler. All the fill in wrestlers looked enough like guys who I saw wrestle at county fairs growing up in the south. And I certainly didn't like it because I left confused. Nope, I got it. Old dude can't give up the dream because he can't do anything else. He realizes after a heart attack that he's wasted his entire life wrestling so he tries to quickly build relationships with his daughter who he's neglected for years and a stripper who he loves. Once these two options blow up he goes back to wrestling because it's the only thing he knows. I think I got the point.

The talk I heard leading up to seeing it was that it really makes you feel bad for these guys who continue to beat the hell out of themselves for literally no money and no fame. I'd say the movie also does a decent job of conveying this aspect. Well, at least it shows you they beat the hell out of themselves and then get almost no pay for it. Maybe I'm just not a nice person, but it didn't make me feel sorry for any of them because it's a decision these guys are making.

When I go see a movie I want it to be one thing, entertaining. That's all I want from a movie. There are a ton of levels of entertaining so I generally find that I like a wide variety of movies. The only highlight of this movie is when Marisa Tomei is naked in the strip club. And, luckily, for the movies sake, it happens about 5 or 6 times. I joked with a friend before going to see this movie that I love movies she's in because she's always naked. Good thing this movie was no exception or it wouldn't have a single redeeming factor.

I think the most annoying thing about the movie is that they seemed to use the same camera crew as the guys in The Blair Witch Project. When dude would walk the camera would walk behind him and shake the same way it does if its mounted to your shoulder. I didn't get motion sick or anything from the constant bobbing up and down of the camera but it did get on my nerves about 3 minutes into the show.

So, there you go. If you want to see Marisa Tomei naked just go rent "Before the Devil Knows Your Dead" for like $3 bucks at blockbuster. You'll come up $7 ahead and it's just about as bad of a movie as The Wrestler. If you want to see old people get thrown through a table, I'm sure there's youtube videos that can hold you over and won't take nearly the time commitment.

Partner vs. Boyfriend/Girlfriend

This may or may not make sense. It also may or may not make a point.

Recently I have met quite a few people who refer to their significant other as their “partner” as opposed to boyfriend or girlfriend. For me, I’ve mostly heard the term partner used in reference to same sex relationships. This has always confused me a bit because just because the people in involved shared the same anatomy, I never understood why that person wouldn’t simply be your boyfriend or girlfriend. Why partner?

When I worked at Georgetown I had a lot of interaction with the residential life staff through various committees and other work functions. For the most part res life staffers are insanely positive and overly PC. Due to the PC nature of their job, I heard a guy refer to his “partner” in a story. I assumed this guy was gay because of the reference. I later learned he was not. His partner was his girlfriend, but somehow referring to his girlfriend as partner was the new way to not alienate same sex couples. This doesn’t make any sense to me.

I remember when I was a kid my mom used to refer to her friends from high school in stories as girlfriends. This confused me and so as a kid I asked for clarification. She explained it in a perfectly logical way and my little brain started to understand that words can have different definitions being used in various contexts.

Being a hetero dude I have never referred to a girlfriend as anything except girlfriend. I think if I started to use the term partner it’d sound really weird and fake and clearly way too PC than I am or have any aspirations to be. At the same time I could care less about which gender someone else is attracted to. Like any sane person in the world I realize that people are all made differently and so some folks find themselves attracted to people who share the same anatomy, or maybe people with every form of anatomy and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. If a girl who digs other girls calls her significant other her girlfriend it doesn’t change anything about how she feels about that person just as it doesn't change the way I’d feel about my girlfriend. If we defined the words “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” using the general way that society uses them, the same definition works for both hetero and homo-sexual couples.

I guess my point is I just don’t see the utility value in having a term that was originally used to define the significant other of a same sex couple and then morphed into the PC term so as not to alienate those same sex couples. For me, the feeling of obligation to use such a term is just as alienating as forcing them to call their significant other something other than what everyone else does. Maybe this is a larger overlying problem as our society attempts to move forward. Can we really get past any issue that segregates if we can’t all use the same inclusive vocabulary?

It's Only Sort of About Bike Helmets.

For most of my friends I’m the only cyclist they know and so when there is a question regarding anything on bikes I’m generally the one that fields it. Some of these questions range in topics from racing to general idiots on wal-mart bikes clogging up city streets. It’s not uncommon for people to ask me how I feel about wearing a helmet but the answer varies a bit depending on the circumstances.

When I’m racing I wear a helmet because the rules say I have to. Not that I wouldn’t anyway in a race filled with fools who can take you out, but since it’s a rule there’s no point in discussing why I do.

When I’m out training I still wear a helmet but not really because I feel like it keeps me any safer. A lot of my training rides are done solo so there’s not really anybody else who’s going to crash me. I’ve crashed a few times over the years on training rides and never once hit my head on the road. Even when I got hit by a car a few years ago my head didn’t make any contact with the pavement. Still, I wear one and I think the reason I do is because of the stigma of having other cyclists who are very pro-helmet constantly yell at you about not wearing one. There’s nothing that drives me more insane than hearing people I don’t know correct me for something like they’re my legal guardian. This happens all the time with my iPod and every time I ask these fools with camelbaks when they’re going to start giving me an allowance they generally get the point and leave me alone. But, with a helmet it’s different. The badgering doesn’t stop and so I wear one.

I really hate commuting by bike but in the odd chance that I’m doing it I never, EVER, wear a helmet. I just don’t see the point and it’s just one more thing that has to be carried or locked up once I get wherever it is I’m going. And that factor alone is more of a pain in the ass than I’m willing to deal with.

Recently on Velonews.com there was a picture of a pro team on a training ride where a lot of the riders weren’t wearing helmets. The picture I posted above isn’t the same photo but it’s an example of the same type of thing. Tons and tons of pros never wear helmets and in my opinion that’s their own prerogative as a decision making adult. If one of these pros crashes on this ride, cracks his head open and whatever else, nobody else can be blamed for it. He knew the inherent risks just like anybody else who decides not to wear a helmet. But apparently the rest of the world doesn’t see it that way. The amount of outcry that came by the way of fan mail from idiots into velonews.com threatening to cancel subscriptions if the publication showed helmetless riders ever again was absolutely ridiculous.

Ok, I get it, you wear a helmet and you think that the world will implode if you don’t. I’m sure you make your poor kid wear a helmet when they ride their bmx bike over to their friends house as well. And while I feel sorry for your kid because bicycle helmets, especially while riding a bmx bike, are really dorky, I guess since the kid is under your supervision you can enforce such precautions. But it drives me nuts that people feel the need to impose their own overly precautious hysteria and try and force it on everybody else. Is it a bit more risky to ride your bike with no helmet? Probably. Do you hurt anybody else by not doing so? Nope. As an adult should you be allowed to make your own decisions about how much risk you’re willing to take with your own life? Absolutely!

So dudes writing in about helmets, instead you should maybe take the time to fill up your camel back, lube up your triple crank and adjust your fred mirrors. For the rest of us that are sane and respect other people’s ability to make a decision about their own personal safety when it doesn’t affect anybody else, turn up your iPod so you can’t hear that old dude when he tells you it’s dangerous. And then point out that you can’t hear him and smile.

Also, substitute the word “seat belt” for every “helmet” and you’re essentially looking at the same issue where instead of annoying readers you have the gov’t making that decision for you.

Ugliest Kit, So far.

Every year with the team press conferences the new kits (uniform for those of you not up on the cycling vocab) get revealed. This is team Columbia - High Road's new kit and boy is it ugly! These guys have multimillion dollar budgets and the best they can do is something that looks like it came from the semi-custom pages of a brochure. Did you really need to put fake abs on the jersey? The yellow is supposed to represent success and the white purity. That's all fine and well but seriously, this is the best you could do? I might be alone on this one but I'd rather wear the "venom" Rock Racing kit (see the post about Fast Freddy from November) than this thing. Here's to hoping the other teams have a few creative designers they go to for their racing gear!

Early Bird #2

If this entry were to have a subtitle it would be, The lesson of suffering and then sprinting.

The race was a bit faster this week. The field was also about double the previous one. On the third lap this big dude went by me up the middle following another guy and so I thought he'd be a nice big body to draft off of. He was, but he also wasn't stopping when he got to the front. Since I was already there I figured what the heck, let's see what happens. The group didn't react and so I thought maybe we've have a shot to at least stay away for a lap or so but it was not to be. The guy on the front of our little three man train pulled until the exploded. The big guy I was following did the same. When it was my turn the group had brought us back so to ensure I wasn't towing the entire group I just swung the hell off the front and drifted back 10 or so places.

But that effort hurt! And I never even stuck my nose in the wind. Those two guys were super strong and should have took much smaller pulls trying and I think the three of us could have organized enough to stay away a bit longer.

With three laps to go I was in the pain locker so I decided I need a good set of wheels to follow and just sit there for a couple laps. What do you know, that actually helped! I recovered a ton and after turn 1 I moved up 5 or so places. After turn 2 I moved up another 5 or so until I found myself in the top ten for turn three, which is really the last turn because 4 is a huge sweeper. I ended up beating a couple guys in the spring which really surprised me. Mainly because I suck at sprinting and I remembered these guys for being super powerful in Cross races.

So, I finished about 7th or so out of 40 guys. A group of three attacked after turn three and ended up holding it. I had no idea that we weren't all together. I'm more stoked about the lesson I learned, which is, even if you're hurting and it's hard to hold wheels, if you suffer through, you might be able to recover enough to do decent sprint at the end.

Oh yeah, and Freddy Rodriguez won the Pro, 1, 2, 3 race in a bunch sprint. He and Danny Holloway left the rest of the group like they weren't moving. It was awesome to see up close!

The Landall Uninteractive Poll

There are three things that I love when it comes to college football and those three things are, the Longhorns, the Longhorns beating the Sooners and the Sooners losing big bowl games. The last 6 years have really brought me a lot of joy.

I was going to bash Oklahoma for not winning a BCS bowl game since 2000. Oklahoma has the highest paid coach in college sports and I am now completely convinced that they justify that bloated salary by making themselves feel good when they beat totally inferior teams by 50. That must be what helps them overlook the fact that they haven't won the last three BCS games they played in, all of which they were favored.

But, I'm not going to bash Oklahoma. Instead I am going to officially publish what I think the final top 10 should look like for major college football. Below will be the rankings and below that will be my justification of each.

1. Utah
2. Florida
3. Texas
4. USC
5. Oklahoma
6. Alabama
7. Penn State
8. Ohio State
9. Texas Tech
10. TCU

1. Utah - Only team to go undefeated and in my opinion the only team to make a statement with their bowl win. They are penalized in most polls for playing in the Mountain West but I'd argue that the Mountain West has just as many tough football programs as the Big 10 or the ACC. To paraphrase their coach, "All we could do was beat the teams we were scheduled to play." And they did. Every last one of them.
2. Florida - Eh. I'm not a big Florida fan and ever since ESPN did that special interest piece of Tim Tebow going to prisons to talk about Jesus it makes me like them even less. However, they are clearly good. Are they good enough to be the consensus National Champs? Not to me. But, in the system we have, I guess that's what they are.
3. Texas - I'm not being a fair weather fan by putting them over USC. They beat Oklahoma 45-35 on a neutral field. They played 4 consecutive weeks against teams all in the top 11. Our loss was to a Texas Tech that finished higher than Oregon State who beat USC. And, with 2:05 left on the clock Colt McCoy showed just how good he is and marched his team down the field to win the game. Not every important win is by 60.
4. USC - They're clearly good. I think the rounding out of my top 5 would make for some of the best games in a playoff system that exists. They beat Penn State pretty easily, but, everybody saw that coming.
5. Oklahoma - I guess they deserve to stay in the top 5. Sam Bradford's Heisman stats are insanely bloated due to never coming off the field when they're up by 45. The deserved to play in the Fiesta Bowl, not the Orange. OU Sucks!
6. Alabama - All year I had a feeling that Alabama wasn't as good as everyone who jumped on the band wagon was making them out to be. Still, in his first year at the program, Nick Saban can clearly coach 'em up!
7. Penn State - When Penn State was still undefeated and there was conspiracy theories that they'd jump Texas to play for the national title so that JoPa could have another shot at winning I began to pray mercilessly that they'd lose. JoPa is like a billion years old but you gotta love the guy. It's not his fault that Penn State is stuck in the Big 10 playing other mediocre teams of great football past.
8. Ohio State - They're better than I thought they were. They're seniors have lost every bowl game they've played in so from a personal standpoint that says something about both the players they recruit and the coaches. Jim Tressel should stop wearing sweater vests.
9. Texas Tech - They seem to do well when teams only have a week to prepare for their crazy offense and not an entire month. They still beat a very good Texas on a last second play. In my opinion they are on the map and clearly take over the number 3 spot for the programs in the Big 12 south.
10. TCU - I don't know anything about TCU but everybody else has them at like 7 in their polls. So, I'll stick them in at 10. And because their a christian school, maybe god won't smite me for making the Tim Tebow comment earlier.

Early Bird #1

You know you're in for a treat when the guy running the fundamentals clinic asks who thinks they're good at riding in a pace line and only 3 out of about 80 riders raise their hands.

The Early Birds are a series of races here in the bay area that run every Sunday through January. They are intended to give newbies race and skill experience without throwing them to the wolves. If you are a 5, you can attend a skills clinic and participate in the race and get upgrade credit for each.

Rumor had it they are crash laden and basically every race that day had at least one. My race didn't, however, that's due to one guy being filled with magical powers when an idiot three bikes up from me basically decided to just run into him. He didn't go down, which, was really nothing short of a miracle.

Outside of that the race was pretty uneventful, usual stuff you'd expect from a bunch of 5s racing for the first time this year. Nobody really taking the right line through the corners and even less people holding the line the started on. We raced for 40 minutes. Some dude got away and stayed about 200 yards off the front since nobody, included myself cared to exert the effort to chase him. I ended up about 5th as a group of 10 eventually split the field and then we sort of half sprinted at the end. My 5th was almost solely because at least 3 guys in front of me started sprinting way too early and faded and I was able to basically just ride by them. And, since I am still in my non-fit fat stage, I'll take it!

Nothing exciting, but at least the rubber side stayed down. Racing the first weekend of the year? Crazy if you ask me!